Are your goal definitions sexy enough to your brain?

Today I was thinking a lot about how we define our goals and I've realized that a lot of stuff that I've read on the internet or found in self-development book departments, are outdated and not sexy for our brains anymore.

 It all started with this question: Do we all need to be extraordinary? As always, the first thing that you need to do for yourself is to define what does extraordinary mean to you. Everything starts from definition. In order to know what kind of relationship, career or even travel experience you want to have, you need to define it first. Otherwise you will make decisions based on other people’s definitions. And trust me, you don’t want that.

Here is what resonates with me when thinking about extraordinary:

Becoming extraordinary is a decision to evolve and become your best self. Period. 

Not being millionaire, not being the NY times best seller or number one athlete, but rather defining it as a state by choosing your identity. Why did I pick this one? It is because the outcome or process does not inspire us humans! The identity inspires us. Let me explain you.

 Most people define their goals by choosing the specific outcome: I want to have that job, that partner, that house. Or a specific process: losing weight, doing workouts every day, meditating every day etc. 

By doing that, people set themselves up very often for a failure because the phrasing of this goal will not be inspiring enough for their brains to stick to these definitions long enough. Instead of that, what our brains love to hear is the definition of who I want to become as a person? And that can be anything from, I want to become confident in communication, unstoppable in business, healthy, strong etc. You get the point. It is important how you feel while achieving those goals. When you set things like this, your brain will automatically start searching the best way for you to become that. You will stumble upon certain workout that you feel inspired to do, you will find a book with tips on public speaking that you feel confident to apply. Just be open to this. Our minds are amazing engines, we just have to use them in the right way and give them the right fuel that is inspiring enough to propel these engines. Words and phrases play an immense role in this, because words carry emotions. Emotions cause thoughts, thoughts turn to actions. 

 Here is a small test for you. Check your emotional state when you say to yourself: I want to have this exact job vs. I am passionate about what I do, while contributing to others. Which of these two sounds more sexy to your brain? 

Feel free to play with this and try to tweak a bit your goal list that you've maybe set at the beginning of year. 

And don't forget to have fun!

With gratitude

Natalija